Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
