I am puke
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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