yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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