She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
