Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
