I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
