I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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