it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Less talking, more tequila
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
