i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
