How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
