she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
