its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
