I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's shark week go big or go home
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
