ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
