thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize