I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How does one acquire holy water?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
