I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
