You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
