No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
