somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
