I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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