you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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