TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
