so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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