So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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