So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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