I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
