when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
