I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
