ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
