I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
honey bunches of taint.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Come on in and take your pants off
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