I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
