Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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