dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
