Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
