fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
