How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
