next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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