your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
