If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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