yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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