Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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