how can u be prego again
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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