I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
