Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She told me I should be a condom model.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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