he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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