They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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