Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
