so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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