we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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