It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize