Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
