some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
