Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
