Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
