BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
