but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
