So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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