guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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