i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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