people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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