You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
