one two three fourrrrnication!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
