Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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