while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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