is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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