those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
