you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
