It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
