in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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