The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
